Are people with cancer more afraid to actually say cancer because it'll make the whole thing seem more real? Because that's the way I am with the D-word.
D for Depression
I for Ill
V for Vendettas
O for Oh my God
R for Reality (screwed)
C for Crashed
E for Excedrine

Taboo
rhymes with tattoo
and poo
and sue
and goo
and balloon.....sort of

F**k my life.

Temporary Misplacia

This pain
Is like jagged rips
In my heart
While memories, tears
Flow through my mind and over my face
Kneeling
Kissing
Cuddling
Whispering
In the dark
In the candlelight.
I need to come back,
Come home
And fit the pieces together,
To make the puzzle whole-
The way we became whole,
Completing each other
On cement and cotton.
I need to see the light
In your eyes,
The light that illuminates
My very soul.
Without it, I am blind
Lost
Alone.
I need to feel your skin,
Warm and alive,
Gliding over mine,
Heating and melting
The ice of my old hell.
Winter always returns
Without the sun.
Without light,
Flowers cease to bloom
And all of life fades.
Which is why I need you-
Because otherwise I am
Vaguely dead,
Discontent with mere existence
And colorblind to everyone.
I need your breath in my ear,
Your voice...
For what is life
Without music?
I need your laugh
And your smile
And
Oh God...
Your lips.
Bestowing, anointing me
With the most precious gift
Of your kiss.
Pure good
Pure love
Pure bliss.

My Incurability

Even drugs don't work. I've been to the doctor twice. Nothing seems to help my throat for more than ten minutes. I need my voice.
I write this from the depths of Medicine Land. Tylenol with codeine is usually enough to knock out pain for most people, right? It really hasn't had any effect on me, except for making me feel like everything is a little fuzzy...it's a little harder to focus. My mind slips from one subject to another. I'm drifting.
If I had swollen glands, the doc would have said I have mono....but nothing. I'm just kind of defying everything, medically.
I'm so tired. Constantly. I just have zero energy. Even typing this makes my arms hurt....I wonder what's wrong with me? When will I be back to normal?
I'm ready to be healthy again.

My Real Hiccups

I have hiccups. Right now. For the past two years, I've only had little hiccups after eating, like my dad and his mom. Finally I have real hiccups.
Best part of my week.
:D