Your Dreams

I will love you forever
If you’ll only be mine
I’ll love you for always
(And that’s a long time!)
If ever you fear,
Become angry or weep,
Remember that I
Will be there in your sleep.
In the deepest of dreams
I will come, dear, to you,
And avow of my love
So deep and so true.
We will run in bright meadows,
We will swim in clear seas.
We will be free to frolic,
And do as we please.
But if, love, you fear that
The dawn will bring anguish,
Be still and remember
Our love will not languish.
For my heart and your heart
Are made of the same mold,
And my heart, dear love,
Is yours always to hold.

My [Slippery] Good Day

Today was pretty much AWESOME!!
I woke up early (9:30) to take a shower and get ready to pick up Sara, since we had a lunch date. :) But Dad told me he needed to go to work, so I'd have to drive him in and reschedule with Sara, which was irritating but fine. I got all prettied up, but Dad asked me to help him with eBay, so we were HALF AN HOUR LATE getting into town. I hate being late. It makes me grumpy. Finally we were made it into town, and after I dropped him off I drove to Sara's. I decided (what the deuce was I thinking?) to try to take a different route to Sara's. I got lost, and then un-lost. I slipped two or three times, once almost plowing into the side of a parked truck. [Yikes!] I finally made it to Sara's house, but SURPRISE! I couldn't make it out of her driveway. The tires on the station wagon suuuuck. I don't like that car much. Anyways, after some shoveling and cursing we finally made it out.
ON TO ARBY'S!
I love Arby's. Their sauce and curly fries are like meth but without the nasty side effects. We stayed in there for TWO HOURS just talking and laughing. It was wonderful. On the way out we saw this guy I know from YL, his name is Tim. He's an odd duck. He's a nice duck. Sara and I did NOT want to say goodbye so we decided to randomly pop into one of my all-time favorite stores....THE DOLLAR STORE!! :D That was fun. We just wandered around. We bought glow sticks to bring to the next Speech meet, gigantic pencils, and tasty....delicious....wonderful....COTTON CANDY. Yummm.
Dad called with the news that his class had been canceled so he needed to be picked up. I invited Sara over, without asking my parents. Somehow I just knew they'd say yes.
Sara and I had the BEST time, just watching Juno and talking and eating cotton candy. Eventually, though, it was starting to get dark and Sara needed to go home. On the way, we needed to make just one stop.
And that is why I am sitting on my bed, listening to Lady Gaga and sipping a Blueberry Frost Freezer from the gas station. Life is good.

My Retardedednessocity

Do you ever forget how to put on your clothes? Like, how to start?

That seems to happen to me kind of a lot.

My New Year {2009}

It's been a quiet night. Except that I can't sleep. Which is still technically quiet. Except for IMing and blaring French music. The dark circles under my eyes make me look like a baby.

I want pomegranate green tea.
I wish they made pomegranate frogo. That would be rad.

It's 1:27 AM, do you know where your pancreas is?

Dystocia is a funny word.

I'm so tired but i'm afraid of trying to sleep.

Phobia. Phoebus. Phoebe. Phoebus, also known as Apollo. What was Apollo afraid of? Phoebe, a bird. FEE be. FEE be.
Romans: "Screw the phonetics! Hell, let's even make 'phonetic' impossible to spell!"
Greeks: "Dammit. Well...um....uh....THIS IS SPARTAAAA!!!!"
Romans: "Oh pu-leeze. You are all such drama queens. Ever heard of the roman legions, bitches? Cesar? Caligula?"
Greeks: [cower behind statue of Zeus]
Romans: "Damn straight."

My Inspired Heart

Poetry never fails to destroy my cynicism or stoicism or whatever hard-nosed thing I happen to be that day. Poetry about death makes me wonder when I will experience my first real death...I guess the deaths of pets don't really count, do they? Poetry about kids makes me excited to have children of my own. And poetry about love? That usually affects me the strongest of all.
The watery words, the insubstantial breaths cause me to crave his touch, his kiss, his heart beneath my ear. There's something wonderful about snuggling up to his chest....something borderline magical.
I, like, soooo do not deserve him.
But we've had that "discussion" before.
I thought about bed last night. Our bed. What it will be like to fall asleep together, dream...and awaken to the sun's caress.
There's a line in my poetry.....
When we sleep together/
When we breathe each other's breath/

God, how that reminds me of us.

Funny how I miss him sometimes. At random times.
Funny how I'm so hesitatingly impatient for the future to arrive.
Funny how much I love him.

My Physical Contact

It's back.
No.
Not again.
Yes, again.
Fuck.
Leave me alone, alright? It was just a high five. Just a damn high five.
First time in months. First time in....nine and a half...ten months.
That's a long time.
Yeah, it is.
Just a high five. Relax.
I know where this is going. I've been down this road before and it's bumpy and horrid.
What was that word?
Hideous.
"Such a girl word," he said. "I like it."
Gotdamn. This barely even makes sense to me.
What did he call it?
Oh yeah, stream of consciousness writing.
I like it.
Random.
"Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!"
Fat whore.
I have to pee.
Peeing's a chore. Sort of.
Hmm.
Why don't I make more of an effort?
Stupid girl.
It's not on yet. Stupid internet.
Damn. You fucker. You fucking bastard. Take me from high to low in 2.3 flat. It ain't fair.
Was a long and dark December
From the rooftops I remember
There was snow
White snow
Gawd, it's enough to kill a rhino.
I wish I had a different stream in this damn desert.
I want Oreos.
I'm calming. But I NEED to hear those French accents. Then I can really mellow out.
I need his voice too.
Or would that just put me on edge again.
High five.
Damn.
I'm gonna pee.

It Begins With Me

I've seen it.
I know what the future could be,
I saw the potential, and I think
It begins with me.

I saw a world full of peace,
A world new and free.
I saw a nation rising up,
A nation including me.

I saw people being helped
By their fellow man.
I saw the path stretching out,
And knew I was part of the plan.

I saw dignity restored,
And dreams become reality.
I saw children smile,
And I knew it started with me.

I saw a planet healed,
Happy elderly and youth.
I saw free education,
And knew I'd found Truth.

I saw true gratefulness,
And widespread equality.
I saw a beautiful world,
And knew it began with me.