Monday, November 10, 2008

My Depression, Drugs, And In-Jokes

It's getting closer to Christmas. Yay!
I keep thinking about last Christmas...how depressing it was. I was in an almost-relationship when I decorated the tree...by myself. My parents had no desire to help. Decorating the house and the tree has always been a family affair. But last year, I was the only one who had any interest in festivity. Which was ironic, since I was depressed. I pushed my mom to make her traditional Christmas cookies. I had all of my gifts wrapped before anybody else. It was so weird, to have all this holiday spirit and still feel like everything was dark.
I really want hot cocoa now.
I....need to cheer up.
Oh my gosh! You know what I wanna do? I wanna go sledding! I haven't gone sledding since I was nine. I basically stopped the day I sprained my wrist.
Journalism is starting to become quite the drug. I get high off of interviewing people. I get satisfaction from getting my stories back from editors. I get a fire in my heart when I hear people talk about stuff they've read in the paper, even if it's not my story.
Mellow.
Do you ever make jokes that nobody else gets? That happens far too often for me.
Last night I was laughing silently, and I had to make myself stop so I could sleep. I kept thinking of saying, "Kyrie, if you try to cuddle with me I'm gonna kill you." For some reason that seemed really funny to me.
LIFE IS MY CRACK.

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